Lourdes E, Lore D
I have just turned 40.
Yuck!
Of course, this is the year that I have decided to have my meltdown. Not a midlife crisis. Just a meltdown.
This post may be just a little too personal for my taste. So, I may have to keep a few things a little close to the vest as I progress.
Not to go into great gory detail, I have survived the last 30 years in a survival mode. My children jokingly refer to me as being an “emotional cripple”. I have always laughed it off and went about my business. Keen and insightful they are.
Survival mode for me involves a stuffing all my feelings. Put them in a little box, nail that sucker shut and place in the attic, never to be seen again. I have tried my very best to face life in a very cold and plodding manner. Taking care of business.
It has caught up to me. And now I am faced with the challenge of revamping, rewiring, redoing myself. It is the short, shallow breathing that needs to give way to the relaxed breathing normal people do. It may take a while? It may be a quick turn? I just have to clean out the attic.
I currently am in the deconstruction mode. Not too sure what that means, but, I think it has something to do with changing things up a little bit. Severely jumping out of the rut, the whole thing about the goodness of forest fires.
So, stay tuned. I will not turn these pages into my dumping grounds. Okay, only once in a while.
Yuck!
Of course, this is the year that I have decided to have my meltdown. Not a midlife crisis. Just a meltdown.
This post may be just a little too personal for my taste. So, I may have to keep a few things a little close to the vest as I progress.
Not to go into great gory detail, I have survived the last 30 years in a survival mode. My children jokingly refer to me as being an “emotional cripple”. I have always laughed it off and went about my business. Keen and insightful they are.
Survival mode for me involves a stuffing all my feelings. Put them in a little box, nail that sucker shut and place in the attic, never to be seen again. I have tried my very best to face life in a very cold and plodding manner. Taking care of business.
It has caught up to me. And now I am faced with the challenge of revamping, rewiring, redoing myself. It is the short, shallow breathing that needs to give way to the relaxed breathing normal people do. It may take a while? It may be a quick turn? I just have to clean out the attic.
I currently am in the deconstruction mode. Not too sure what that means, but, I think it has something to do with changing things up a little bit. Severely jumping out of the rut, the whole thing about the goodness of forest fires.
So, stay tuned. I will not turn these pages into my dumping grounds. Okay, only once in a while.
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